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A man and his wife were sitting in church deeply absorbed in the quiet moments of a contemplative sermon.  The wife passed some intestinal gas and leaned, and whispered to her husband, "Brace yourself. I just quietly passed some more intestinal gas.  I just hope it doesn't smell."

The husband, showing deep embarassment, replied, "You need to stop eating those beans and you also need to get some new hearing aid batteries!"

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